I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
