We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
