one might say we're banned from that church
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
