You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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