When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
