Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
