I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
