I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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