So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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