I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
