one two three fourrrrnication!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The chlamydia really affected his face.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
