I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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