fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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