I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
