it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
