yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize