Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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