Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
