Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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