I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
