well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My dick has a subreddit
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
