I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
