I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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