Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just gargled with NyQuil
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize