So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
