how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
