I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
