what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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