True but thats because hes a fetus.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
