You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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