She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
