Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize