please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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