elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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