If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
