fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
