Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
