why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
