I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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