Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
