these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
