just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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