i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize