K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
