Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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