mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
