So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
