he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
