Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
