how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The feeling are messing with the penis
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
