sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
