remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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