Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
