"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
