allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
