she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
