My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
