I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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