Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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