moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize