they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
