I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
