some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
