why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
